come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
