Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize