It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize