Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
