when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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