No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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