I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize