My friends, they love my intelligence
just tell him i said nine months
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
