Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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