& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.