dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize