What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
