I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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