What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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