i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
