I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
