i just google imaged poop.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
