Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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