Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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