I will die if light touches me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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