So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
