I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
