need another drink. this is the easiest way
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
