i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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