I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
