Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
