is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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