The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize