well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
