just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
