I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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