: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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