You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
