and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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