UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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