So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
