go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
