So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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