You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
