Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
