mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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