the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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