Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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