"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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