im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
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Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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