gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
