And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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