She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
