Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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