Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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