She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
