Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize