i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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