hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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