Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
