he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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