Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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