The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
