The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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